I do not know what i can do now...what i could do,i do, what i should, i should...things always not coming the right way, and always I am not the lucky one. I was being defeated by the tragedy again..i lost and it won!Could my way get lesser of bumply road?Could the god give me some lucks or could the god give me some more loves? I am pleased at the sadnest moment, my sister and my other siblings and parents there to hold me on...but, i am so sorry at this time, i cant help myself, i am slack to stand up and fight again....I am very thankful to the people who care me so much when they knew that i was so down..even in the midnight, thank you for the encouragements and carings, but, at this time, thousands of words or the love can't just fix my broken heart.......I am lost, i lost my way, i lost my confidence, i lost everything in a night....Can you treat me better? Can you give me some lucks? I am tired to assure people when they were sad, I am tired of compliment people when they lost their confidence, i am tired to help people when they need helps, i am tired of everything......indeed, i am just nothing...without me, you still can survive, you still can move on, you still can alive.

i want to take off the mask on my face, i just want to be someone else...Yes!I cant cope with my family and friends, even myself...I wish i could just vanish in this world, i hate myself too much............If there is a guardian angel, could you just stay with me all times? Help me, assist me, hold me, like me, love me, pamper me, everything that i want....I am just an ordinary girl, all i need is just what a girl wants...but unfortunately, i always need to fight hard to achieve something in which i am so exhausted..i am feelingless, except the tears keep falling down on my cheek to the neck...i can't stop weeping, just because i am sad...Perhaps i did something bad to somebody, i hurt somebody too much before, but then......I believe Karma, and i know i had done some sinful things to some people, however, i think i have paid you all back everything i owed you. So, once again please accept my forgiveness and forgive me...give me a peaceful life, a peace mind, a peace me...i just want happiness, when my angel when my dreams will come true? You gave me hopes, and you destroyed that for me with your hands, you support me, but you defeat me at the end.

Momma, sisters, papa, give me some times to forget the pains, forget the past, forgive myself, regain or rebuild my confidence, please...Sorry that i disappointed you all once again...Sorry to my dearly dear, that i ruin your day and everything...

I need a brand new me, please get rid all the devils or sins away from me....please go away from me....i want a happy life....please, please, please, i beg you.....