I do not know what i can do now...what i could do,i do, what i should, i should...things always not coming the right way, and always I am not the lucky one. I was being defeated by the tragedy again..i lost and it won!Could my way get lesser of bumply road?Could the god give me some lucks or could the god give me some more loves? I am pleased at the sadnest moment, my sister and my other siblings and parents there to hold me on...but, i am so sorry at this time, i cant help myself, i am slack to stand up and fight again....I am very thankful to the people who care me so much when they knew that i was so down..even in the midnight, thank you for the encouragements and carings, but, at this time, thousands of words or the love can't just fix my broken heart.......I am lost, i lost my way, i lost my confidence, i lost everything in a night....Can you treat me better? Can you give me some lucks? I am tired to assure people when they were sad, I am tired of compliment people when they lost their confidence, i am tired to help people when they need helps, i am tired of everything......indeed, i am just nothing...without me, you still can survive, you still can move on, you still can alive.

i want to take off the mask on my face, i just want to be someone else...Yes!I cant cope with my family and friends, even myself...I wish i could just vanish in this world, i hate myself too much............If there is a guardian angel, could you just stay with me all times? Help me, assist me, hold me, like me, love me, pamper me, everything that i want....I am just an ordinary girl, all i need is just what a girl wants...but unfortunately, i always need to fight hard to achieve something in which i am so exhausted..i am feelingless, except the tears keep falling down on my cheek to the neck...i can't stop weeping, just because i am sad...Perhaps i did something bad to somebody, i hurt somebody too much before, but then......I believe Karma, and i know i had done some sinful things to some people, however, i think i have paid you all back everything i owed you. So, once again please accept my forgiveness and forgive me...give me a peaceful life, a peace mind, a peace me...i just want happiness, when my angel when my dreams will come true? You gave me hopes, and you destroyed that for me with your hands, you support me, but you defeat me at the end.

Momma, sisters, papa, give me some times to forget the pains, forget the past, forgive myself, regain or rebuild my confidence, please...Sorry that i disappointed you all once again...Sorry to my dearly dear, that i ruin your day and everything...

I need a brand new me, please get rid all the devils or sins away from me....please go away from me....i want a happy life....please, please, please, i beg you.....

WTF!!!

It isnt good to start my new blog with "WTF",right? But, i cant help with it, just something really pissed me off recently.What are so annoying me? Sigh...sigh...better not to mention them here, as it is going to uglify my beautiful blog!xD WTF!!!We will see how many "WTF" i typed out in my very first blog ya...

New semester starts, everything is just good in which i am very happy with that.My first day at uni was quite fun as this is completely a very different semester for me as i am doing 2 non-law subjects. I had Japanese class on Monday and it was fun! I found the teacher, instead of addressing her "lecturer/tutor", because i found it is alike to the English Course I did few years back at British Council. I think the hardest part for me learning a new language is to memorise the writing of Hiragana and Katakana. When the 2 hours lectures finished, i headed to adminstration office to renew my Student ID, the queue was long and about 10 minutes later, suddenly people at the front dismissed and one girl told me that the system was gone and needed half an hour to fix it. At this very moment, I had a very sinful thought!!*Big Grin* It was a bad news to others, but then, it was in fact turning out to be a good new to me as i could just waited there for 30 minutes, and then the first person to have my student ID fix up when the system is back!!!Isnt me smart enough?WTF!!I met an old lady - Codda?WTF, i dont know the spelling, she is a new elderly student, thus she is so helpless, so I tried to assist and answered all her enquiries as I am a very helpful person, WTF!=p

Today I have straight 7 hours lectures!!!Can you believe? *Sweat* However, i skipped the last lecture!=p I met a new friend in the first lecture i attended, called Estee (I hope i got her name correct).L.O.L. During the lecture, somehow i felt like i was sitting in my A-Level accounting class many years ago(this made me sound really old now,ha ha..), that was just nice, having all my good friends around me and speaking in my mother tongue!!I am a native speaker, you see, so i still prefer to speak in mandarin!And then i attended another lectures and realised that Linda was doing Succession too!So, i will not be too boring in the 2 hours Succession Lectures. Isn't it boring to be a student?Another boring day at uni?as you go to uni and attend the lectures and seminar/tute, then back to home!Still, i miss my days at TARC (semi-government college in my home country) and I miss my high school life so much, of course all my babies!=D

Oh!This reminds me that, almost everyone in the town called us bitch (this is a nice name, me likey it, wtf!) as we were all from the bitchy high school.LOL!Why bitchy?this is because all are girls and people used to say, our eyes grow wide and biiiiiiiiiiiig everytime we saw boys, and we were hunger for boyfriends!!WTF!This was so prejudice!!It is just absolutely "school-discriminations"!!!ha ha...I miss my high school mates!!!!!!I miss my high school life!!!Every morning when i reached my bitchy school, i left my school bag in the classroom, then friends sitting at my front and back, and even right of my seat would yell, "hey!you're here. that's great!did you finish your homeworks?" or "gimme your math exercise books" or "hey!please copy these for me"....Copy in the sense of writing out the answers for her on her book. So, every morning basically i was busy helping the babies to finish off their schoolworks.It was so fun!!!A friend, a good friend taking care of me during my last 2 years in high school,she brought me breakfast everyday, isn't she nice?=) When she knew that i was being rejected by a guy, she always tried to cheerish me...Yes!!No doubt!!I wooed a guy but not successful. Come on!!Dont despise me,okayokay!!I was so crazy for him, he was my prince!!!I just couldnt understand why he had no feelings at all, or he was blind perhaps or my English was too good to be read/understand?LOL WTF i was just a very typical asian girl, making all the cards with my own hands, okay, some with poems, some with love shapes...etc, cant remember well now...All were nicely made..just as beautiful as those you bought from the bookshop or newsagent,WTF!!!You are looking for a handmade card??You want to place an order???LOL....

Okay,guess i should end my first blog here!!!I am puzzled with my blog skin/templates, i need a nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice one...please!!Can anyone lend me a hand with this?